There is a mysterious house at Princeton that is located between the Art Museum and Frist Student Center.
Architecturally, it does not fit into Princeton’s two categories of “modern” and “collegiate gothic,” opting instead for an Italian appearance. The map labels it as “Prospect House.” Allegedly, it is the faculty dining hall. I reject this reality and substitute my own. I would like to submit that it is a secret mafia villa.
My evidence? First, all of the other buildings keep their distance from it, and the house is at location on campus where very few students pass by. This increases its privacy while still keeping that “hidden in plain sight” strategy. Second, there are usually either large SUVs or nice sedans in the driveway (like Cadillacs) whenever I walk by. Big mafia signal. Third, the building itself incorporates modernist architecture with the traditional Italian style. Straight from Italy just like the mafia. Fourth, I always see well dressed people in suits watching a PowerPoint presentation in the glass room during my reconnaissance trips. They must be checking up on the gang’s finances. Fifth, fantastic aromas emanate from the house during meal times. The food is too good to be university food. It must be custom made. Sixth, there is a beautiful garden behind it. There is no way that a University with a $22.72 billion endowment could afford to maintain such a nice garden. There must be some outside money involved. Seventh, it is located in New Jersey. Everyone knows that the mafia is rampant here. Finally, students are not allowed inside unless by invitation only. Those who have visited it remain silent. Obviously this is when the mafia threatens to kill them if they reveal the secret.
You have read my evidence. I am maintaining my position that Prospect House is a mafia villa. If I mysteriously disappear or randomly start saying that it is a faculty dining room, then you will know why. Maybe I will accidentally “fo-get about it.” The truth is out there! You can see it for yourself!
(And for those of you who are slow, this was a poor attempt at a humor post. Please, don’t hate me for it.)